Black clogs, black jeans, black blouse, long ash blonde hair, Korean inspired make up and confidence. This is her basic get-up. I never thought we would be super close because she just exudes confidence and “unbothered-ness” which are the two things I dream to attain in this lifetime.
But now, being close friends with her since majors began in college, I do think she has an intimidating facade, but she has the biggest heart and gives the warmest hugs. Would you actually believe that the girl I was intimidated to in majors would end up being my kunsintidor and kaladkarin friend?
She was open about her sexuality to us since the beginning. She identifies herself as a lesbian and is attracted to women. When I asked her to tell me how it all began and how she was able to find happiness now, this is what she had to say.
Ruler or Bent?
Studying at an exclusive all-girls’ school from preschool to high school, it was expected that she would join soirees to meet people from nearby all-boys schools but she was already doing fine without jumping to neighboring schools.
It all began in 2009. She recalls how her classmates and even upperclassmen would ask her “Are you straight?” or “Choose one: ruler or bent?”
A couple of years later, these instances are still very fresh in her mind. “If you were clueless enough to know the connotative meaning these questions have, then best of luck cause it’s the start of judgment day… and then it becomes a daily grind”, she narrates.
Million Dollar Answer?
She also shares an event that happened way back in her grade school years where she knew the answer to the million dollar question.
“I remember back in grade school during an activity for CLE (Christian Living Education), our class was assigned to re-enact a scene from the Stations of the Cross. I was chosen to portray Joseph and another classmate played the role of Mary… and the rest was history hahaha… it is a very long chronicle to track down, it has been a decade since and no one was too “woke” to know my real sexual identity” she explains.
She briefly shared these stories but she moves on to talk about how a particular woman changed her life.
Distance Makes The Heart Grow Fonder
“I am currently in a committed relationship whom at times I refer to as my wife. She currently works abroad and yes, LDR kami, and we are nearing our 11th month anniversary”, she shares.
“To make this short and painless to the readers, I’ll tell our love story in a nutshell nalang. We met met on a language exchange app and we did not really have a nice start. Admittedly, I was anxious and depressed and worst a jerk. We did phone calls and video calls, eventually started flirting until I asked her to be mine. We have been together for a span of two weeks but something happened and well, we broke up. Two months passed, late July, I could not stop thinking about her and I tried to get her attention and yet I keep failing. On the 6th of August, I asked her to be mine for the second time and I vowed to myself that I would not place her in such a horrible situation ever. At that time, she went back to Cebu but prior to that she stayed a month in Manila to visit some friends and relatives and I did not even bother to see her”, she says.
“The only time we got to meet in person was during her lay-over in Manila going back to Cebu. I was having numerous deadlines, so I ended up bringing my laptop with me when I met her. We only spent three to four hours together before she left. Since then, we celebrated the next couple of months on voice calls and video calls” she continues.
Despite living in another country, this did not hinder my friend and her girlfriend from regularly seeing each other.
“I would wake her up and she would wake me… we eat and we almost do everything together. We would often joke around or have heated nerdy discussions”, she tells.
“February 6 to February 15, 2019, she came back to Manila. We spent our monthsary together and even Valentine’s Day. I sucked because I did not get to buy her a nice bouquet. February was magical but the following months were challenging…the distance was testing our love and it came to the point of us leaving one another yet, we did not give up. Last April, we took 2 weeks off, since I was in New York and then she went to South Korea. We were too busy traveling and yes, we terribly missed each other. We realized how much we needed each other and those 2 weeks taught us both a lesson. Up until now, we learn together and we grow together. We remind each other of the blessings we both have and place God in the center of our relationship”, she explains.
I know my friend to well and I can say that she is happily in love because she lets herself be vulnerable with her girl.
“My love is a great woman. Despite her flaws and imperfections I embrace her like its home. I tell myself all the time, do not quit on the person you love most because you will realize and see that the more you love, the more your partner will bloom… she taught me how to love and most importantly how to be selfless. I love you, my love and thank you for choosing me. For always choosing me”, she shares.
Love truly wins.